When I started this blog, I had four main tiers; (Natural Skin Care, Foods, Health & Balance). For a while, now I have been on a journey to find myself and my purpose; to connect with and realise the self. I used to say to myself it’s the ‘Holistic Glo Up’. To me, “Glo Up” means a journey towards improvement, refurbishment. Glo’ing up means a success in that improvement; emerging as a better YOU. Glo’ing up meant that I had to make some changes in my life and I had to stick to them. It meant I had to make some tough but necessary decisions; cutting off people who I thought didn’t add much value to my life as well as to stop doing things that made me feel the same. I figured that if I realise the self and what it truly needs, everything would fall into place.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FIND BALANCE
Before I start, maybe I should explain what I mean when I say “finding balance”. To me, it means being able to handle all the elements of my life; Physical, Spiritual & Emotional. It means not feeling as if some parts of me are working too hard. Let me be clear that balance is not synonymous to being in control; just being able to realise and handle. When balanced, one should feel conscious, calm, motivated, clear-headed and grounded.
HOW DOES ONE FIND THEIR BALANCE
What we have to realise first, is what triggers imbalances in our lives. I always find that it’s so much easier dealing with problems when we know what the cause is. If there are multiple causes, its great to classify them. For example, in this context, imbalances can be caused by multiple things, but those things can only fall in one of two categories; internal & external. The key is realising BOTH and not just focusing on one more than the other.
I find that it is easier to realise that you are being affected by external issues, not paying attention or realising that there are internal issues to deal with as well. We forget to pay attention to what goes on in the heart/soul as well as the mind. Creating balance is about realising the effects on your caused by both spheres.
I set a path for myself and it led me to a road to enlightenment. Now, let me begin by saying that I am not about to shove religion down your throat, that’s not how I roll. When I talk spirituality, I mean it in a very broad sense. I highlight spirituality as a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience—something that touches us all. I may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent or simply a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.
Some may find that their spiritual life is intricately linked to their association with a church, temple, mosque, or synagogue (but we are NOT going this way). Others may pray or find comfort in a personal relationship with God or a higher power. Still, others seek meaning through their connections to nature or art. Like your sense of purpose, your personal definition of spirituality may change throughout your life, adapting to your own experiences and relationships.
Growing up, I always had trouble fitting in and I still do. I would genuinely call myself a misfit because that’s what it felt like. I had problems would people wanting me to be a certain way in order for me to fit in, so I would just linger. This followed me all the way up until university. It came to a point where I didn’t know how to be friends with someone because I had never maintained a long-term friendship, even though I really wanted one. I decided to do an introspection, where I feel I should have started. I decided to look at and into myself to identify what *I* could have been doing wrong and what was causing me to be disconnected from my peers.
So, I decided to take a break from trying to form relationships with other people and form one with MYSELF. But, I won’t bore you with the whole she-bang, I will just get to tips on how to find yourself. I know I am not the only one and I hope this helps just even one person.
I spoke about the two categories with internal being one of them. The key is doing an introspection and seeing what it is that you can do from within that will spark the change you wish to see.
Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest/ reading books (i will give recommendations at the end of the post)
Heart/Soul: Giving love vs. receiving love
Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies
EXTERNAL (WORK, SOCIAL, FAMILY, FUN)
Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride
Social: Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself
Family: Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries
Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it
As you can see, both ends of each spectrum are actually positive; but if either side is taken to an extreme, something that is intended to be positive can end up being detrimental.
It’s helpful to check in with yourself to see if you feel balanced. And if you feel as if, some things are tugging you too hard in one direction try this:
Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
Acknowledging your current state, honestly, is the only way you can begin to make moves to improve it.
Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
As I mentioned earlier, most of us tend to focus more on one than the other.
3. SET GOALS.
Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list. This will give you a visual idea of where you want to go in life.
Make sure to stick it up somewhere you’ll see it every day.
4. PLAN TASKS.
Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. What have you tried in the past? Did it work? If not, what can you do differently?
This lends itself to number 3. The trick is to know what you are doing and know if it has been working for you.
What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
I find that reflection can be a great way of motivating ourselves and it helps us to know if we are on the right path.
What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan (fears, worries, doubts, negative self-talk)? Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (For example: “Just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.
For me, my stuff would be “anxiety” at the most.I realised this and I made a post about how I deal with my anxiety with no medication. Failing to prepare is preparing for failure and I believe in that.
What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!
What I loved doing is a #21DayMantraChallenge and I make sure to do it at least twice a year or whenever I am feeling down. Basically, you find the most inspirational quotes that are unique to a situation you are in and you say them to yourself every morning in the mirror and throughout the day, for 21 days!
Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.
For me, this person has been my boyfriend. I live away from home and only see my parents and sister twice a year and that can be difficult. I always say to myself, if it wasn’t for him, I would have probably gone home already. He motivates me when I am feeling down and always checks up on me to see if I am fine. Through this, I have managed to cope for almost four years.
Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward.
BOOKS TO READ:
Bhagavad Gita by Veda Vyasa
Bhagwat Gita – Symphony of the Spirit by RR Varma
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Chopra
I Am That: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj by Nisargadatta Maharaj
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle
Om Chanting and Meditation by Amit Ray
Cosmic Consciousness – A Study in the Evolution of the Human Mind by Richard Maurice Bucke
I just feel that once you get your spirituality in check, everything just falls into place. In the famous words of Kylie Jenner “This is the year of realising things”, well, make it a life of realising things. Don’t float aimlessly and passively; take a conscious effort when going through life.