I wrote this article for Eish! Magazine in November 2011 and Sarona, Editor of the Mag had posted it on her blog as well.
This is the article :
“It is said that if each of us threw all our problems into a pile and were told to pick one, we would pick the very same problem that we had initially.”
My Problems... or Yours ?
By Nabihah Desai
We all go through some sort of difficulty in our lifetime, something that blocks us from moving forward or something that keeps us from being extremely ecstatic. Some problems seem bigger than others and to us; some people seem to have no problems at all. Either these people are good at hiding them, or they have learnt the secret art of dealing with their problems without making them apparent. There is none in this world that are free from troubles, if you look quite close, you will be able to see that each one of us has something that we’re struggling with. Our troubles could range from finances, family problems, in-law family problems, addictions, or not being able to find someone.
I used to think that the last one mentioned above was not really a problem. I believed that there is someone for everyone and that eventually, we will find that person. Then I looked deeper and realised that I actually know quite a few elderly people who have never found their significant other, who to this day, have gone through life without having someone by their side every step of the way.
We perceive our problems to be bigger than those around us, concluding that other people, including our own friends and family will never understand what we’re going through because what we’re going through is “quite huge.” We would console ourselves by saying that if the roles were reversed, we would rather have the “small” problem that our friend has.
Ponder this question:
If you have financial difficulty as well as in-law family problems and it seems like you are just not moving forward yet you have a spouse, would you swap your problems with your friend whose only problem seems to be that he cannot find someone to love? What would you choose to do?
The latter seems enticing. Imagine having financial freedom, being able to pay all your bills on time and not having any debts at all as well as buying whatever you want to or going wherever you want to. Would it really matter to you that you cannot find that one person that you “click” with?
With just a slight touch on religion, briefly consider the story that most of us know how the world has come about: The story of Adam being created. Adam literally had the world for himself. Forget the fact that money was not yet invented; he still had all the animals he wanted and could roam around as he pleased! Yet the one thing that he wanted more than ever was companionship.
The only thing that human beings thrive for it seems is companionship. Those who are single and struggle to find that “one” would try and make others believe that they don’t need another person in their life. They try to convince you as well as themselves, that they have independence. But it could be that they just have not found the one person that they could tolerate or would tolerate them since the natural order of life is coming together to procreate. We see it everywhere: all the movies, television programmes and songs have one constant underlying theme and that is finding that one person that they connect with.
I’ve asked someone really close to me to choose and this particular person chose the one problem that included a spouse because with that one other person in your life, it would give you courage to move forward and motivation to try really hard to make things work. It seems as if the load will seem lighter by having a significant other by your side and as we all know, problems are just tests to make us stronger and it will pass, so rather have a companion to go through it with you. Someone to go home to and who will witness every event of your life as well as being with you through difficult times as well as the not so difficult times.
If you beg to differ and you choose the latter of my question, then it seems that you will not want to swap your problem with anyone else, but that does not mean that you don’t have a little problem of your own...